The Stories We Tell Ourselves

You scroll through social media, and everyone else seems to have their life together—perfect vacations, successful careers, beautiful homes. And suddenly, a voice in your head whispers: “I should be doing more. I’m falling behind.”

Or maybe you're in a conversation with friends or colleagues, and someone mentions a topic you know nothing about. Instead of admitting you're unfamiliar, you panic and think, “I can't let them know I don't understand this. They'll think I’m not smart enough.”

These are examples of the stories we tell ourselves—the limiting beliefs that shape how we see ourselves and the world around us. We don’t always realize it, but every experience, interaction, and challenge are filtered through our beliefs, past experiences, and emotions. The problem is many of these stories aren’t even true.

And yet, they still hold incredible power over us, shaping what we believe is possible and what we view as a limitation. These stories often keep us from living authentically and fully.

Here are a few examples of those stories:

“I’m not good enough.”
“They don’t actually care about me.”
“I always mess things up.”

These stories feel real, but they are just an interpretation of reality—not the truth.

How These Stories Show Up

I’ve seen these stories show up in clients, friends, family—and in myself.

I recently worked with a client who was struggling to balance all her responsibilities. She had career aspirations of launching a business but was constantly running around feeling the gravity of all her other roles that she wasn’t able to make any progress. As a wife and mother of three, she was managing the household, playing chauffeur, cook, housemaid, teacher—you name it. Though her husband was willing to help at home, he had a demanding job and just didn’t have the time. Despite her career aspirations, she was too busy taking care of everyone else. While she was able to prioritize a personal health regimen, she felt like she was stuck in a never-ending cycle, where her own dreams took a backseat to others’ needs.

Through our work together, she had a major breakthrough. She realized she was telling herself a story—that she had to take care of everyone else (as a perfect wife and mother) to be validate her worthiness.

Once she recognized this, she was able to take intentional action. She realized she could ask for help rather than carrying the weight of all the household work herself. She broke down chores and involved her children—teaching them valuable life skills like doing laundry and cleaning up after themselves. She was no longer the only one running the household. This shift not only gave her some much-needed time and energy back, but it also taught her kids the importance of teamwork and personal responsibility.

Most importantly, it allowed her to focus more on her career aspirations, knowing that prioritizing her dreams was just as important as taking care of others.

Then there’s my friend, who has been dating her boyfriend for a year. She had been telling herself a story that she wasn’t deserving of love and that she needed to be perfect to maintain the relationship. After a weekend getaway, where a few triggering moments led her to feel stressed, she was terrified that she ruined the weekend by simply being human. She feared that by showing her anxiety about being late to an event, her boyfriend would realize she wasn’t perfect, they weren’t always thinking about situations the same way, and he might leave her.

Even though she knew it wasn’t rational, her instinct was to fear that he would end things if she let him see all of her. She was afraid to show her authentic self, which put even more pressure on her to only tend to and anticipate his needs while not acknowledging or communicating her own.

I reminded her that he loves her for all her wonderful attributes—and that she needs to let go of the idea that no one can love her imperfections. She doesn’t need to be perfect to be loved; she just needs to be her.

Where Do These Stories Come From?

Most limiting beliefs are formed by:

• Past experiences – A rejection, failure, or painful moment that left a lasting mark on how we view ourselves.

• External influences – Words from parents, teachers, or peers that shaped how we see ourselves.

• Subconscious fears – Deep-seated worries that we’re not enough, that we’ll be abandoned, or that we don’t measure up.

These stories often run in the background of our minds, influencing our choices, confidence, and willingness to take risks—without us even realizing it.

How to Rewrite the Stories Holding You Back

Step 1: Recognize the Story
Notice the thoughts that come up when you feel stuck, unworthy, or afraid. Ask yourself: Is this actually true? Would I say this to someone I love?

Step 2: Challenge the Narrative
Where did this belief come from? Who or what reinforced it? What evidence do you have that proves it wrong? Can you think of times you showed the opposite to be true?

Step 3: Reframe with Compassion
Instead of “I always mess things up,” try: “I am learning and growing, and that’s okay.”
Instead of “I’m not enough,” try: “I am worthy as I am.”
These small shifts in language can rewire how we see ourselves.

Step 4: Choose a New Story
What if your new story sounded like this?
“I am capable. I am loved. I am already enough.”
Say it out loud. Feel the difference.

Your Story Is Yours to Rewrite

The most powerful thing about our inner narratives? We have the power to change them.

I’ve seen this shift happen over and over—with my clients, in my own life, and in the lives of the people I love. The moment we start questioning our limiting beliefs, we create space for new, empowering ones to emerge.

So, what’s one story you’re ready to release today? Your next chapter is waiting for you to begin.